Rev. Ralph Urmson-Taylor, a Holland Hall chaplain and teacher for nearly 30 years, died Sunday, Aug. 23, at his home in Lytham St Annes, Lancashire, England.
From 1962 to 2001, Urmson-Taylor was also a longtime assistant priest at Trinity Episcopal Church in downtown Tulsa. He served as Holland Hall’s chaplain from 1964-73 and 1975-93. He also taught fifth-grade English.
In 1967, Urmson-Taylor designed the Holland Hall crest. Art teacher Eleanor Davey Carmack sketched his design. During the 1960s, Father Taylor also was responsible for moving the Lessons & Carols service from the Birmingham campus to Trinity Episcopal Church, where it is still held today.
Among his passions was ballet. He served on the Board of Directors of the Tulsa Ballet, attended performances and even appeared as a cast member in productions. Following his retirement, he moved to Italy for a few years before returning to his native England.
He never married and had no children. A plaque hangs in the Middle School Orchestra room that reads, in part: “His many contributions to the enrichment of the school (including his design of our crest) are profound and lasting.”
Middle School Chaplain Christy Utter remembers Father Taylor, followed by reflections from others who knew him.
If you happen to run into an alumnus who had Father Taylor — we called him FT — it would be perfectly normal for the conversation to suddenly break out into poetry. We all learned William Wordsworth’s famous poem, Daffodils: “I wandered lonely as a cloud, that floats on high o’er vales and hills, when all at once I saw a crowd, a host of golden daffodils. Beside the lake, beneath the trees, fluttering and dancing in the breeze.”
Father Taylor was not only memorable; he made us love what he taught. We loved learning from him, we loved him, and, of course, we loved his British accent.
Father Taylor taught us about subjects that were exciting to him — and somehow, they became exciting to us, too. We did a unit on Guy Fawkes Day that had students making straw effigies of Guy Fawkes, who, in 1605, was caught as part of a plot to blow up Parliament. I vividly remember spending the day at Abby Thompson’s ’92 house with fellow classmates, including Torie Tracy and Kevin Klos ’92, to name a few, stuffing our “Guys” for the big celebration at school.
We shared a traditional meal of shepherd’s pie with our classmates and families in the Middle School Refectory before heading outside, lighting an enormous bonfire, and throwing our Guys into the fire. We joyously chanted the Guy Fawkes Day poem: “Remember, remember, the fifth of November, gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot!”
It sounds like a unit that might be frowned upon today, but we loved the history lesson and remember it fondly to this day. In fact, my twin brother, Jeff, and I still have an annual contest: The first one to wake up on Nov. 5 calls the other and proudly chants the poem! The only prize is pride, but believe me, the stakes feel high every year. We learned that lesson in 1986, and here we are, 40 years later, still remembering it — and still competing.
FT also taught us to pay attention to others: hold the door for anyone coming in behind you; keep your elbows off the table; say please and thank you; push in your chair when you get up from a table; and, of course, remember that napkins and forks go on the left, while spoons and knives go on the right. He was the ultimate judge of good manners — and, more importantly, of what it meant to be a good citizen.
He was tough, kind, compassionate, caring, passionate, and deeply proud of his students and colleagues. Decades of bright-eyed Holland Hall students were extraordinarily fortunate to have him as a teacher, mentor, and friend. He became an important figure in the lives of so many, and for many of us, he was one of the first religious leaders we knew who modeled genuine respect for all people.
Father Taylor taught us poetry and history, manners and faith. But perhaps most importantly, he taught us that the things worth learning are also worth caring deeply about. Forty years later, we can still recite the poems, remember the lessons, hear that unmistakable British accent in our heads, and smile.
He was an unofficial advisor to Roman Jasinski and Moscelyne Larkin (the founding artistic figures of the Tulsa Ballet Theatre).
In the late 1970s after the Tulsa Performing Arts Center had opened, Urmson-Taylor wrote a note to Williams Companies CEO John Williams saying how Tulsa needed better costumes and sets for their performances of The Nutcracker. The letter was the origin of the funding push that led to a more lavish Nutcracker production that delighted Tulsa audiences for decades.
He was a colorful character with high personal and artistic standards about how people should behave. I will miss his humor, and I will miss his love of the arts and his love of quality.
Father Taylor, the English teacher, was very well-liked and respected by his young students. His interests and talents went beyond the classroom and the school chapel where fifth graders served as his Acolytes on Wednesday mornings.
Ballet and theater were passions of his. In 1970, Father Taylor earned the Tulsa Civic Ballet role of Drosselmeyer in the Nutcracker production. He recruited some fifth-grade HH students including myself to join. They needed more boys to be the children and toy soldiers! Some of us stayed with it for several more years and have great memories.
Writing letters with a fountain pen and wax seal was very important to Ralph. He encouraged me and a few friends (Robert Adelson, Peter Williams, and Jono Helmerich) to send one to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Michael Ramsey, whom he knew personally. The Archbishop mailed us a long handwritten note in return, and Tulsa World ran an article along with a photo of us!
Father Taylor helped grow St. Bede’s Episcopal Church as a priest in the 1970s. At his behest, my family and others from Holland Hall joined and made the drive out toward Lake Keystone on Sundays.
Ralph owned a beautiful home on 22nd Street by Utica Square. He loved antique furniture and gardening, spending a great deal of his time on both.
My husband and I first met Ralph when we moved into a house in Lytham (in northwest England) about 20 years ago. We soon got to know him quite well, as he lived next door but one to us. Despite the age difference — Ralph was in his late 70s and we were in our early 30s — we got on really well.
At the time, Ralph also had a house in Assisi, Italy, so we only saw him for part of the year when he returned to Lytham. After about 10 years, he sold his house in Italy and decided to live in Lytham full-time.
We only knew small bits about Ralph’s past — that he had grown up in England but had spent a lot of time working in America. It always sounded like he’d had a really interesting life.
Ralph was always incredibly kind and welcoming, and we would often pop round to say hello and check that he was okay. Despite his age, he was very active and loved getting out and about. We also had other friends on the street, and we would regularly get together to chat and make food for each other, which Ralph really enjoyed.
One of the things Ralph introduced us to was ballet. He absolutely loved it and took us to see a live performance. We also went to see Royal Ballet performances at the cinema. Afterwards, we would all go for fish and chips!
When our first daughter was born in 2024, we often took her to see Ralph. We soon realized we needed a bigger house, so we moved to a larger home about 10 minutes away. Although we were no longer living as close, we still made sure to visit him regularly.
When our second daughter was born, Ralph was always amazed at how noisy and crazy two little girls could be! I’m sure he needed a lie-down after some of our visits!
As Ralph got older, we knew he was finding it increasingly difficult to manage at home. We did our best to help, but we also knew that he needed more support than we could provide. Although he had some help at home, we were quite relieved when he eventually moved into a care home, knowing that there would always be someone around to look after him.
The staff at the home loved Ralph and always spoke of him as a true gentleman. He was incredibly grateful for everything he had and for the care he received.
Our family will miss Ralph greatly. He was always kind, thoughtful and welcoming, and we feel very lucky to have known him. Although we only met Ralph in the later years of his life and knew very little about his past, we really enjoyed spending time with him and will always remember him very fondly.
He was a very proper Englishman, very courteous, and yet, he had a fun-loving side.
He was very handy. He could do a lot of carpentry. One day, he went upstairs at his house and said, ‘There should be a balcony here.’ The next thing we knew, a week or so later, we go over there and he had torn out the wall, put in a French door, and was building a balcony, all by himself. He was something else in that respect.
He was English and he was pretty proud of his heritage. With students, he was reserved in a sense. He had that gentlemanly blank stare about him … but with a quirky sense of humor. He was kind of that English gentleman, you know?
Anne Darnell, Facebook post
One of my favorites. I’m so sorry to hear this news. Father Taylor sparked my love for the works of Shakespeare and I can still recite all 23 auxiliary verbs. He was a great human and teacher.
